It's funny what you inherit from your parents. Round eyes, a nose that points up, earlobes that attach to your neck. Parent/child similarities often consist of a long lists of physical attributes and behaviors acquaintances love to comment on. I'm not talking about when your a kid either, in fact often you settle into them. After 23 years of suspicion over my origin (I've mentioned my pasty complexion amongst a family of tanned) I'm just starting to notice how much I'm beginning to look like my mum. It's nice in a lot of ways, like finding a group of people you have something in common with, knowing you belong somewhere, not to mention a topic of conversation with relatives and family friends you never see and have nothing to say to. This sense of kinship and implied conception however can come at a price. Sure I got my dads sense of humor, both their artistic inclinations and my mums fierce sense of independence but I also got my dad's lack of physical prowess, their combined short stature and my mums weird pertinacity to attract strange people. Most importantly I've inherited a curse from the family that means no matter where I go or what I do it's almost impossible to stay anonymous. Take the other night for example. I hadn't seen my boyfriend in a while and choosing the middle of the week to rendezvous we headed to the movies in Bondi for the 25th anniversary of "Back to the future".
I'd arrived late thanks to Sydney peak hour traffic and managed to settle in my seat just in time for the pre show festivities. So far so good, a late arrival had not spoiled my quest to remain one of the crowd. I cuddled up to my boyfriend and we laughed as we watched self professed BTTF nerds excitedly answer trivia questions in exchange for DVD's or Blue Ray's generously sponsored by Universal. Not knowing the world well enough I hadn't made a fool of myself answering a question wrong, or tripping down the aisle in an attempted to collect my prize. It's safe to say at this point I was feeling confident - I had gone a whole day of relative anonymity. Then, disaster struck. Relaxing further into my seat, unaware of impending doom I looked on as the host announced he was sadly out of trivia questions and would now resort to throwing DVD's into the audience… my muscles tensed… this sounded like trouble. After a brief pause as he collected himself and placed valuables at a safe distance, he picked up the box and taking on the persona of a trained Ultimate Frisbee sportsmen begun flinging them carelessly into the audience. Men dived into the aisles attempting to catch them, laughing and holding their prizes in triumph. My gut told me this gayety wouldn't last. Suddenly I noticed the host turn to face our direction, he still had some left. Eye's wide I watched as he flung one into the front, then another - wait it was a trick shot, it went spiraling in the other direction. Surely that was it, there couldn't be anymore. I waited, breath caught in my throat.
To my horror there was one more. A shiny beacon of hope for everyone, a weapon of mass destruction for me. With a glint in his eye he cocked his arm back and spun his wrist around like a pro cricketer ready to bowl the opposition out. All four discs of extra features slowly spun towards me, I couldn't move, A hand shot up deflecting the blow only to strengthen it's arc as it came towards me. There was nothing I could do, bracing myself for impact I shut my eye's, too slow to lift my hands in time. BANG, the corner of the heavy plastic penetrated my glasses and went straight into my eye. I was down, withering in agony in the seat as tears sprung to my eyes. I could hear whispers of concern and disbelief spread through the cinema like an air born pathogen. With that one blow, I had become famous. The host called up guiltily to see whether I was alright (contemplating whether he had time to run out of the cinema before police were called) unable to open my eye and embarrassed for my tear streaked face I buried my head in the my lap and raised two feeble thumbs up to the crowd hoping it would communicate that I was indeed going to live and would appreciate it if the people up the back would turn of the lights so I could continue to cry in privacy. At the end of the film as we walked out I saw people looking around for my exit, whispering excitedly as though it was the highlight of their night… It probably was.
We met some of my boyfriends friends and looked on as they realized I was "the DVD girl". That my friends is the story of my life. I'm perpetually The ________ (insert word of your choosing) Girl". So if your ever anywhere you see someone getting attention for something beyond their control, it's probably me, and know that I would appreciate you going back to you business and letting me continue with mine in private.
ALSO HAPPY (BELATED) HALLOWEEN