For anyone who happens to check my Facebook page now and then - hey to both of you… you may already know that I have been seriously suffering from the worst sneezing fits I've had since I was little…er... seriously I've been like sneezy the dwarf for three days now!
I've always suffered from hay fever and sinusitis , but there's a lot more than pollen that gets me going, I still remember being forced to do the prick test when I was about 11. They drew a grid on my arm and slowly pricked the different squares with a variety of essences most common to cause distress. Most squares quickly filled up with small red welts, nothing too serious, the biggest was dairy, that after only a minute or two, had already started creeping into the neighbouring squares.
The final square was dust. As the doctor lowered the needle I stopped him and said, that's ok, I know I'm allergic to dust, we don't have to prove anything here today. He looked at me over his glasses, a half patronising smile on his face thinking, listen girly, just let me do my job. I released his arm and as soon as the needle pierced my skin a giant angry red welt erupted across it's white surface, blotting out all other welts and causing me at once to feel the need for 9 inch nails so I could scratch the flesh of my bones.
Gruesome, but true. For those of you who've ever suffered allergies you'll understand my suffering. It sucks.
Enough woe is me though, things have been a lot better for me over the last few years, I try and stay away from highly polluted areas, dope up on Zyrtek in pollen season, have warned all that know me to cross chocolate, flowers and incense off my birthday list and lastly drastically change what I eat. Easy enough once you get the hang of it.
But this weekend I was a mess, on Sunday night after what I'm sure was about 50 sneezes in a row (and like most in my family, these are quite violent, often ending in pulled muscles, thrown discs or impaling ones self on sharp objects), a turn at sticking my finger half way to my brain through my ear to scratch the itch and weird clicking noises I make with my tongue to tickle the back of my throat I looked around wildly for a reason this could be happening. After all, there is only so many times you can dust your room.
As I scanned the scene with hazy, itchy eyes I suddenly came across the GIANT bag of lavender I had bought on Friday to stuff a toy I was making. It struck, like the scene in ratatouille when the critic is propelled back to his childhood in the South of France, skipping home from school on dirty tracks and feasting on the delicious rustic delights of his dear mother. I saw the welt on my skin, the one labelled... lavender…
Acting quickly with freshly gloved hands I grabbed the bag and chucked it out of my room, across the hall and down the stairs. In hindsight that may have been a little over dramatic. I had succeeded in removing the cause of my sudden Flu though and finally got a good nights sleep.
So the next time your suffering bad allergies and are convinced you just have a cold - have another look around - you may have unknowingly sabotaged yourself with a giant bag of your worst. nightmare.
Have a great week everyone!
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| I'm not completely certain this much saliva comes out of my mouth when I sneeze... but I could be wrong |
