Friday, January 20, 2012

Chew chew... eeewwww!

By popular demand I thought I would tell a story about my holiday. No risk of retelling the people that know the story already as I'm pretty sure only one of my family members actually reads my blog. I'll preface this by mentioning that it was a great holiday all up and think it's best summarized with some of the things I learnt... 

I learnt that after nineteen years I was a better skier at 6 than I am now.
I learnt that snow is pretty on the ground, until you have to step in it. 
I learnt that when it snows - it's just really cold rain
I learnt that you can survive a nose bleed that lasts 3 weeks. 
I learnt that you should always check your bag before you take it home with you (sorry Bridie) 
I learnt that buying a Ukelele helps you when checking in more sinister things through customs 
I learnt that Hawaiians have a slight Napoleon complex (ask them about the main land) 
I learnt that standing up on a surf board is easy when it's so big it needs 3 people to take it to the beach 
I learnt that no matter how pretty a Victoria's Secret bra is you should never wear it on your head.. you know who you are

And I learnt that no matter how hungry you are you should never eat out of the bin. 

Case in point, I had finally stollen my laptop back from my little sis and was enjoying some surfing time that didn't involve the possibility of my arms falling off or swallowing copious amounts of sea water when I heard a grumble in the bed next to me. I looked up to see my sis staring at me with pouted lip and rubbing her stomach. 

"I'm hungry" she whined imploringly. "Well, (began my not so sympathetic reply) you should have spent your money on food… not bracelets for the 1892 friends you apparently have on Facebook" Ok so maybe I thought it, I may have said instead… "oh, well I have plenty of snacks, what do you feel like" (I'm such a sucker) 
"Corn chips"?
"Don't like it"
"Noooo…(long pause) I'm hungry"
"Well I'm not your stomach, arms or brain so you're going to have to give me more to go on… why don't you order room service"
"I can't be bothered" (this was after a depressed look at the hotel phone sitting 3cm from her bed) 
"Oh I know, I have some leftovers you can have, I got them yesterday - chickpea and rice dish sound ok? It's really good… and I only just put it in the bin!" 
"It's in the bin??"
"Well, Yeah, (I reasoned) but I just put it in there, and it's right on the top, protected from the elements and it's our own bin so there isn't anything nasty in there and…(10 minutes later)… AND it's pretty fresh and.."
"Ok!" She held her hands up, "Why not" See this is the epitome of teenage laziness, your CBF attitude has you eating out of a bin because you wont pick up the phone sitting right next to you and order something decent. 

So I set her up with a towel and discreetly brushed the tissues of the box of rice casserole I had thrown out earlier. When I could see her actively lifting food into her mouth I went on with what I told her was important work stuff… You Tube. 
About 5 minutes into a hilarious interview I heard a muffled call next to me… something like Lesphflee…LESPHGFLEE! 
I turned to see my sis in bed her mouth agape with mashed up rice and a weird white shriveled thing between the chopsticks she was delicately holding out for me to see. 
"Isth… isth Vis Your gom?"

In an instant I realized what it was… it was indeed my gum, cold and shriveled from spending a day in the fridge. I lay there staring at her eyes wide, excuses cascading through my head and rested on the brilliantly thought out… "yeeeaaaah"
Without saying another word I slithered of the bed, prized the chopsticks from her stiff fingers, took the box of food and towel away then with 30 tissues in hand placed my hands under her chin for the masticated lentils to roll into. Folded the tissue, placed them in the bin and went back to what I was doing. Her traumatized face still vivid in my peripherals.

So yes another lesson learnt. 

The other could arguably be, don't eat something you don't recognise… it's probably been in someones mouth. 

So hope you guys learnt something from this, I'd love to hear if you learnt anything new this holiday's!

Until next week ^_^

Didn't have time to finish the illo's specific to this blog but they are on there way :)


  1. I Love Love Love the new look! I dont know how you made that amazing header! Also I love the picture cause its underwater!

  2. Thanks Ramona! Header is just good old photoshop, I will admit it took a little time to figure the right size - bit of trial and error,in the end I screen grabbed the dimensions and took it into photoshop... pretty sure there is a better way to do it though ^_^ Hope you had an excellent holiday :D